Past relationships, old flames, you know thebit. When my mind is trying to relax, it digs up things like this.There was one flame in particular that I couldn't get out of my head,for some reason: Becca Gaines. Becca was the first girl to ask me out,instead of the other way around. We had never gotten that close, whichI regret. She hadn't haunted me for years, so it was weird that shewould get stuck in my head at a time like this.I imagined how things could have gone differently. I imagined kissingher cheek instead of just hugging her. I imagined a faint blush on herface whenever I told her how beautiful she was. I imagined...Shit, I thought. My imagination was running away with me. Pills or nopills, I wasn't going to get any sleep as horny as I was.I masturbated. Or at least I think I did. The pills took a huge chunkof the actual event out of my head, but I remember feelings. I rememberthe electricity shooting through my body as I brushed against my clitand the tension in my stomach. We rolled apart and I found it hard to talk at first."Melissa. You told me ... you lost your ... virginity..."She took a deep breath. Then she nodded, looking down at her lap."Yeah ... I did ... I let him go further."I waited without pressing her.She looked up at me; I think she expected me to disapprove.I said nothing, just waited for her, expectantly. It was difficult to stay quiet, because I was dying to know all about it."Did it hurt?"She nodded."Was it ... I mean ... did you like it? What was it like." It was ... kinda ... awful..." What?" I asked, my face in a hideous frown, half fear and half sympathy."Yeah, I don't know if I am going steady with him anymore ... just not sure..." What was it like? When?"Last Friday night after the game." she began. "I waited for him outside the locker room. Then we talked awhile. He was feeling low because he fumbled and they lost. He wanted to make out and we sat and did that on a bleacher seat. People were almost all gone by then. He took me.
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